Nouva Daze

Your twenties are often painted as a time for figuring things out. For me, it’s been just as much about unlearning as it has been about learning. I’ve had to let go of ideas that I once felt like truths. These were beliefs I carried from childhood, society, or survival mode. In shedding them, I’ve made space for peace, clarity, and a version of myself that feels more real. Here are five things I’ve unlearned in my twenties that completely changed my perspective.

5 Things I’ve unlearned in my 20s

Confidence Doesn’t Mean Perfection

For a long time I thought confidence meant never doubting myself. It always felt like you earn confidence after you became “better”, whether at work, relationships, society etc. This mindset delayed many different opportunities in my life, because I thought I wasn’t good enough.

What I Unlearned?

Confidence doesn’t equal perfection it’s about trusting yourself and not waiting for answers. It’s all about faith. You need to know that no matter the circumstance, you will always find a way to get through it. Life has it’s ups and downs but the way you move and react to what life brings, is what’s important.

Healing Isn’t Linear…And That’s Okay

There was a time when I believed there was a finish line at the end of healing. I thought that if I stuck to my routine of journaling, learning, and crying, it would all eventually pay off. I believed I would never feel the hurt again.

What I Unlearned?

Healing has no timeline, it is not about ever feeling pain again. You can start over as many times as you need, making sure you carry the lessons learned on the way. There are many moments that can open those wounds. A song or a movie might affect your mood on a random Friday evening. For a while, I used to take those moments as proof that I wasn’t doing enough. Healing is like an onion, it comes with many layers. Real growth comes from embracing the rhythm of it and not rushing the process.

I Don’t Owe Anyone Constant Access to Me

For a long time I would put a lot of people first before myself, even when it strained me. My mind was wired to do the best I can for others but at my own expense. I thought love and loyalty meant being at the front seat for everyone. I believed in always showing up because if I didn’t, it felt like letting them down.

What I’ve Unlearned?

Boundaries are not walls, they are doors with lock on them. Protect your energy without feeling guilt. The people who truly care about you won’t demand constant access to you. They understand you, so you have no need to over explain. You find peace without pressure, performance or pretending.

Asking for Help Isn’t Weakness

Growing up I’ve always thought that doing everything on my own equals strength. Handling problems quietly, and carrying them without complaint. Asking for help had always me feel like I had failed and couldn’t handle life.

What I Unlearned?

Asking for help is a form of self respect, it means you recognize your limits and don’t burn yourself out. Vulnerability is not a weakness, it helps deepen relationships. It is okay to say “I can’t do this alone” that is where real strength come from.